Dear Mugger,
It could have been different... alas we will never know. You pointed your silly gun at me, said nothing, and silently demanded money. I did what I could, calmly reach in my pocket and handed you about $120 worth of my hard earned money. And I mean it... Hard earned! Listen I think you're a total "A" hole, but setting that aside, and this goes out to all you would be muggers, all you have to do is ask.. You could accurately describe in detail your needs, maybe just show me the gun... NOT POINT IT AT MY FUCKING HEAD...I MEAN FOR FUCK SAKE COME ON... REALLY WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG HERE, I'M NOT GOING TO TRY TO WRESTLE THE GUN AWAY FROM YOU IN A VEIN ATTEMPT TO SOMEHOW GET THE UPPER HAND AND HOLD ON TO WHATEVER MONETARY WEALTH I MAY HAVE ON A GIVEN DAY....whew... Really dude what were you thinking? Do you think a drunk hairy individual such as myself would put it past anyone to shoot me... come on I'm a fucking realist...the hair... the drunk... I'm just asking for a bullet in the head.... I will pray for you my friend... for one day all the drunk hairy people of Austin will come together and then you'll be the one handing us money, and praying that that is enough sate our unquenchable blood lust... you sick fuck...
Love,
Toesock
